TESTIMONY OF DR. VIJAYA SUDHA


           Greetings to you in the precious name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I praise
my God for giving this wonderful opportunity to share my testimony with you. I pray
that this testimony would bring a great blessing to you.
My name is Vijaya Sudha, 2nd daughter of Dr. V.N. Raju and Smt. Esther Rani
residing in Karapa, East Godhavari District of Andhra Pradesh. My parents brought
me up in the fear and knowledge of the Lord Jesus. I praise my Lord for giving such
God-fearing parents to me.
I had accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour when I was 15. Till then I thought that if
parents are Christians their children will naturally become Christians as an
inheritance. But on May 23rd 1985 during a Youth Retreat in Narsapur, I came to
know that Jesus becomes one’s Saviour when he/she accepts him personally into their
lives and he will lead and guide them as their Lord throughout their lives. Thus on
that day I was born-again by accepting Jesus. Have you too have accepted Jesus and
got this born-again experience?
I like to sing spiritual and also secular songs very much since childhood. From the day
of my rebirth in Christ, I had stopped singing secular songs but that was only for 3
months but I started singing secular songs again.
But God was so gracious towards me. God had provided a medical seat through the
Government entrance exam and I had joined a Visakhapatnam college for my medical
studies (MBBS). During my studies, in my loneliness I started singing secular songs
and was chosen to sing such songs in college functions too as I had a sweet voice.
But one day God spoke to me through a preacher regarding complete dedication. That
day I realised that I was not singing and glorifying God by singing secular songs. So I
had dedicated my voice for only my Lord. God had used me in many ways in my
college days and blessed me by singing only for his glory.
When I was in my 3rd year of MBBS, I was married to Mr. Rajendra Babu an
Engineer, working as a manager in BEL Bangalore. God has blessed us by given us
Esther Praisy & Ron Samuel, a daughter and a son.
From the year 2000 onwards, my life had entered a different phase. I had worked in a
hospital after completing the course of house-surgeonship. At that time I started
experiencing pain and discomfort during nights in my upper abdomen. After 2 years
of suffering, on July 3rd 2002, I had severe bouts of nausea and I vomited a lot of
blood too. All the doctors and staff rushed to attend on me. The news was like a fire to
them. They loved me so much, and so they could not digest the news. Owner of that
hospital, Dr. Patil became so depressed and called a gastroenterologist to attend on
me. My husband also was intimated. Endoscopy was done and a big bleeding tumor
of 10 cm size was discovered in my abdomen. Dr. Patil started crying like a child. It
was a shocking news to all my consultants. They had explained this severe condition
to my husband also.
I became so tired due to severe internal bleeding and so got depressed. Inside I was
weeping as I felt so weak. Being a doctor I could guess and assess that it must be
cancer. I’d seen so many patients of cancer suffering and dying. In my case I was the
doctor and also the patient. Generally we could say something else other than cancer
to those patients to comfort them. All people who came to see me could not comfort
me and even doctors who came just shed tears which made me to cry more and more.
I wished the doctors would say that I would not die and live long with my family.
I wanted to read the Bible during that time. Micah 7:7-11 came to my memory and
God had encouraged me to go through that passage, but my sorrow was so much and
my mind couldn’t receive it and I was not in a position to fully understand those
verses of the Bible.
I was shifted to Mallya Hospital on the next day after the transfusing of 2 units of
blood. I was admitted under the care of Dr. K.S. Gopinath, a cancer surgeon. He
examined me and told that my condition was serious, and still 6 more units of blood
were required to be transfused and kept me in the surgical ICU. Then all other big
tests were done. I became so delicate, and the little boldness I had evaporated. No
attendants were allowed. During the visiting hours they permitted only one attendant
for just 5 minutes. My parents were in Andhra Pradesh. My kids were not allowed as
they were very small. Nobody was there to talk or comfort me. Two days had passed
without my knowing whether it was day or night. I could not sleep or relaxed at least
for a minute. Only one question was top most in my mind. “Why is it happening to
me?” On July 5th during night my heart was crying and I was questioning myself “Oh,
God, how many days I have to suffer with this pain? Will I go to my house again?
Will I be healed? My life would be shortened, Why?” People who came to see me too
were crying and making me to cry more. I longed to read the Bible but no Bible was
allowed inside the hospital ICU.
I cried to God “Why Lord, why have you forsaken me? Why this happened to me so
suddenly? I am your child and why have you left me as an orphan? Here I am alone,
Will I die in this hospital? If I die what will happen to my kids? They are very small
and they would also become orphans. Please strengthen me! Are you showing your
wrath on me?” I was struggling. Then I asked myself “Who created me?” I realised it
was God who created me. He told me through God, the Holy Spirit that he was with
me in my suffering. That comforted me but I started asking him again, “God, Why
have you left me in this serious, deadly, depressed condition? And why are you not
bringing me your comforting words? Now, I want a word from you, I want your
comfort and boldness, speak a word to me” I was asking in my weak condition with
weeping and crying. Then I heard a sweet voice from the core of my heart saying
“Don’t feel bad that a copy of the Bible is not with you now, just recollect and
remember the memory verses you have learnt in your childhood”. Immediately Ps.23
came in front of me in very big letters in a lively way. God started speaking to me
with his soft, sweet and still voice that “Do not be afraid, for you are my sheep and I
am your shepherd, even if you are in the valley of the shadow of death, I will be with
you. I will carry you where you cannot walk. I will take you out of this valley. You
will not be put to shame in front of your enemies and surely goodness and mercy will
follow you all the days of your life.” He wiped my tears, took away all my grief and
sorrow and my burden had rolled away and I was filled with his joy. That joy was on
my face even today, I praise God for his comforting word given to me even in that
serious situation.
I was operated and the tumor was reported as malignant with very bad prognosis that
it could grow fast and could kill me soon. There was an abdominal burst on the 9th
day but still I did not get discouraged. In fact, I was very much encouraged because I
believed all things work together for good to them those who love the Lord. After 24
days I got discharged from hospital.
I was advised to undergo check ups periodically. I had joined my work after 4
months. Meanwhile, I wrote some songs, giving my experiences in lyric form as the
Lord encouraged me. I had resigned my job due to some reasons. I started a clinic,
conducted some free medical camps. God had thus used me in his work.
After two and a half years I was admitted again in Mallya Hospital for check up in
Aril 2005. They found another tumor in my liver during a scan. Biopsy was done. It
was reported to be of a very serious type of cancer in an advanced stage. It took 10
days for the doctors to diagnose me. I prayed to God to show His will for my life. God
spoke to me through II Peter 1:13-15, that he is going to use me as his servant as a
singer, a live witness to testify his mercies and glorious things, and a preacher to
preach the gospel quoting often my experiences. God told me to encourage the sick
and burdened people who are undergoing sufferings like me.
I thought I should not accept surgery because of the high risk involved. My father is a
doctor and he also advised me not to go for surgery. God gave me his word when I
asked whether to go for surgery or not. Again God talked to me with his soft, sweet
voice to read my daily portion. That day it was the 2nd chapter of Job. While I was
reading I stopped at the 6th verse. God strengthened me and took away my dilemma
about the surgery or otherwise and had asked me to go for the surgery. With this faith
I had accepted to undergo the surgery, I was successfully operated and discharged
after 8 days without any complications.
I started to undergo chemotherapy with the world’s best drugs. I thought I wouldn’t
be a witness outside the hospital because I did not get total healing from cancer. I
could not tell anything about the healing to anybody in a clear way. People from the
church started talking against my faith. I was hurt by their words. I cried to God,
“What should I tell, Lord, I like to tell that my God is my wonderful, miraculous
healer, Tell me, whether you are going to heal me or not? I am in an advanced stage
of cancer. As a doctor I could assess normally it would take another three months to
come out healthy from this chemotherapy. So during these three months what should I
speak about you, my Father.” Thus I prayed. God has given me enough knowledge
about so many things which can help the people who are facing similar problems like
me. God has said through 2 Peter 1:13-15 that death is inevitable for all. But precious
is the death of his saints in God’s sight. I asked God and he gave me knowledge to
know more about the death of his saints.
I will narrate the things shown by God to me.
1. God called me as his servant to serve, sing and to be a live testimony for his
glory, to comfort and encourage so many people who are suffering and in
need. God spoke to me to preserve my songs and testimony for next
generations also.
2. I have to fight a good fight and finish my course and to keep up my faith in all
situations.
3. The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the
glory of our future life with God in heaven. So as the child of God it is good to
suffer more for the sake of Christ.
4. So many of my Christian friends and believers spoke against me and made me
cry more. I cried to God, “Why this has happened to me, your child.” God has
given me a very good answer. All are sinners including who are talking
against me. If God wants to punish or destroy the sinners nobody would
live/remain on this earth. Some children of God experience sufferings allowed
by God (Heb. 12:6-12). God has given me the grace that through much
suffering I proved that I am still his daughter. God allows sufferings to happen
to his children sometimes to correct them, to guide them, to grow more in his
holiness. So it is good to accept suffering as a child of God. I thank God for
allowing cancer in my life as a training and not as punishment. All those who
talked against too me too had sometimes seen that grace of God was in me.
They saw the revival and comfort of God in my songs and testimony and me
preaching that sufferings and allowed by the will of God.
5. Not even a hair will fall from my head without God’s permission, so with his
permission only cancer had entered my body for my eventual goodness.
Everything works for good for those who love the Lord (Rom. 8:28).
6. Through my 1st surgery, God has given me the experience of the resurrection
power of JESUS by sending me into the valley of death. Today I boldly
declare that Jesus is risen from the dead. Through my 2nd surgery, God taught
me to sing and praise and thanking him even in the shadow of death. Thus it
has given more power in my testimony.
7. I have experienced God’s word in many things, So I can encourage people (as
a live witness), who are in troubles, frustrations, sufferings and even in the
valley of death.
8. To get patience during suffering we have to ask God for his grace.
9. God spoke to me that his grace is sufficient for me, for his strength becomes
more perfect in my weakness.
10. Through these sufferings I learned to lean more upon God, spending much
time in prayer, depending more on God for everything and I could know and
experience the supremacy of our Almighty God.
11. The death of Jesus is the example for all the believers and saints of God. Jesus
as a human being could know when and how his death would be. Likewise his
children also should accept their death here on earth. God gives grace for us to
know about our end. Accidental deaths also are according to God’s will to his
people. Especially through any sickness God gives knowledge about the death
of his people. We have to complete all our responsibilities in the given lifetime.
During agonizing and painful conditions we have to comfort others. We
have to forgive our enemies and set everything right with people and our God.
We should prayerfully welcome pain during our death without entering into
coma. If we suffer like Jesus, we will be transformed into His likeness and get
more glory in His kingdom. We have to ask God to give grace to experience
the above mentioned things and to live for Him. God can make death as a
blessing to His saints because we enter His kingdom through physical death.
So that’s why death of His saints is more precious in the sight of the Lord.
12. Here on this earth we are prone to be sinful. Even if we get healing now some
other disease may attack us after some days. So this healing in this body is
temporary. But our body transforms when God calls us through death. That
new and glorious body will not get any more sickness. I desire from God for
that permanent healing.
13. Why God is not punishing all sinners including believers living in sin? It is
because God will not allow sufferings for them as he knows that they can’t
glorify God during their suffering. Then God would give suffering to his
neighbour with the expectation that seeing his neighbour’s suffering, at least
they may change and get the fear of God.
14. My power and strength physically are reduced through these surgeries as I
faced many side-effects with the chemotherapy drugs. But I learned to depend
more upon God even for simpler things.
15. It is the best thing to trust in the Lord Jesus instead of sharing our sorrows and
griefs with our dear ones. I have observed whenever I share my burden, it has
increased their burden in their hearts and I have made them to cry. God
revealed me to share everything with Him only so that he will lessen my
burden in my heart. I found that my cancer has increased my time in prayer to
God. After finishing prayer, I experience the new power and strength surging
in me.
16. I could understand the call of my God for me to be a live witness for Him and
to sing and preach through live experiences which can comfort the people who
are in suffering. God has chosen me and gave this mission to do in my days
even though I am unworthy.
I have preserved my songs and testimony recorded in cassettes and CDs. After getting
knowledge of above things I told my God that wherever he sends me I will go and I
will work for him, and praise him always in my sickness, rather than asking for
physical healing. God is giving me many opportunities to share my testimony in many
places in Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka. I told God that I won’t be
afraid/ashamed of sharing my testimony even though people talk against me.
After completing one year of chemotherapy doctors asked to go for PET CT scan in
June 2006. I had to go to Mumbai/Hyderabad and spend money up to Rs.30,000/-. But
whatever the money I get I started reserving for doing the Lord’s ministry and using
in recording cassettes and CDs. Now I did not want to spend money for expensive
PET CT scan and opted to go for MRI which is less expensive.
In June and July of 2006 I had finished three meetings in three places of Andhra
Pradesh and while returning one of my aunts gave me the whole amount for PET CT
scan. I became nervous because I was refusing it but God in his mercy has supplied
the need. After coming to Bangalore, I started praying why He has supplied the
money? God spoke to me that I should suffer more to bear more fruits of spirit
especially patience and long suffering. I prayed “Why Lord, till now I have suffered
so much but still I am able to praise you. Lord, Do you know the extent my patience
could go on?”I asked.
God immediately replied like he told Job “Blessed are those who suffer”
God has revealed to me a conversation which was between God & Satan about me.
God is telling Satan “Did you see my daughter is praising me even in the valley of
death”?
Satan to God, “You have covered her with your blood and keeping and protecting her
always; if you have leave her and permit her to suffer more, she will blaspheme your
name and die”.
God to Satan, “Ok, you can do whatever you want, but don’t touch her soul, I am
permitting you to make her suffer more. But surely she will praise even unto death.”
God has kept this conversation in front my eyes while I was praying.
As we were travelling to Amalapuram on 29 May 2007, during the journey I had a
conversation with my son which was about God’s plan for us to live to witness for
him as long as we live, and how one day we must leave this earth gloriously in Jesus
that is due to the triumphant death of Christ. I prepared him about the death which
may come earlier to me than the rest of my family. One by one we must leave this
earth and enter the kingdom of our God. So I told him death is nothing but physical
separation from dear ones and going into sweet communion with God and enter into
eternal life. Now he is mentally prepared and he had accepted Jesus Christ as his
personal Saviour at a very young age. So I am happy that both of my kids are in the
hands of Jesus. He will never leave them or forsake them as orphans.
We as the children of God must prepare our family for everything. We should be bold
enough to do that and ask for God’s guidance. He will surely help us in doing all that
is necessary for our children.
I went to Hyderabad last year and got the PET CT scan done. It was discovered that
there were many tumor growths in my stomach. I consulted my onco-surgeon again.
He and his team of doctors discussed and advised for surgery. I thought suffering
would be more this time.
Before getting admitted in the hospital I went to Hyderabad again and prepared some
songs and testimony to be recorded and came back and got myself admitted.
In hospital I prayed to God, “Will I return well after this operation?” God spoke to me
through II Thessalonians 1-3 chapters and given me the assurance that he will surely
be with me during my sufferings.
I was operated in August 2006 that led to so many complications from the 5th day
onwards. First satan touched my intestines which got paralysed for 15 days. Also
Septicaemia started in all the organs like liver, heart, lungs, kidneys bone marrow.
Fever, chills and rigors, severe breathlessness and palpitations, severe vomiting of
blood due to instestinal paralysis resulted. and so many complications because of
toxins. But as I asked God my mind was alert and was working well. So I never got
into thought blaspheming God. One day on September 14th I asked my husband to
read loudly from Job 1 & 2 chapters as God advised me to practice the patience of
Job. He read those chapters for me and immediately I could feel the presence of satan
beside me spoiling my thoughts saying that “You will never go back to your house
and surely you will die.” and “Why are you still praising God that He’s done good
things for you? Your doctors too are not giving any hope that you will survive. You
will surely die, before dying just blaspheme your God and die.” Immediately I started
crying to God, “Why? Upto this extent my suffering was continuous and I have not
slept even for half an hour peacefully on all these days because of my pain and
discomfort, Till now I praised you, but now satan is spoiling my mind also, if you
don’t intervene now I may blaspheme you and go to hell, please Lord, Have mercy
upon me, at least now you have to show your mighty hand and take me out of satan’s
taunting.” Later my weeping and burden in my heart was reduced, and I slept for just
20 minutes. God showed me a dream. I saw a sump filled with water and I stood on
the wall of that sump and I fell down, my father took me out, 2nd time I fell down
again my father took me out again and a 3rd time I had fallen down into sump, but
vigorously my father’s hand picked me up and after me a huge giant male person
whom I never had seen, was picked out of that sump by some helpers but only as a
dead body. Immediately I got up from sleep and analysed this dream and told my
father and prayed to God. My father told that God is giving victory over death. The
very next day I became better and the demand of my system for oxygen was reduced.
My breathlessness, palpitations, and fever were also reduced. Blood tests reports
showed improvement day after day. Intestines started working. I was started with oral
liquid foods. On September 20th I was discharged at my request.
So many people fasted and prayed for me. God brought me back to life. On 8th Oct I
could release 2nd and 3rd volumes of my albums.
I was still on chemotherapy. 6 months later I had undergone PET CT scan again
which was a very bad positive report. Cancer was seen in my right lung, liver and all
GI tract. But I never left my hope in Christ. As a child of God I would be a witness for
Him even on my death bed, as he encouraged me to prepare my children mentally for
my demise. They have now developed a fresh faith.
Through this bad report, God has given me burden about my kids to prepare them
boldly to accept any eventuality. My daughter Esther is a grownup girl and able to
understand all the situations and she has seen me sharing my testimony and messages
many times. I am happy that she is bold enough to face any situation. Whereas it is
not true with my son Ron Samuel. He is small but very sensitive and breaks into tears
fast and very soft hearted. The day I got this bad report, he understand it at once and
became very tensed. He too got vomiting spells but it stopped later completely.
In the year 2007 my heart was burdened for the many broken families and marriages.
I started praying to God for giving me special understanding. God revealed me so
many things about marriages which are not revealed to even top religious leaders in
churches. And so they make couples to take wrong decisions to make their lives more
complicated. But God gave me the knowledge to counsel young couples in trouble for
them to take correct decisions.
In the month of March of 2007 during Lent season I started praying specially to get
the touch and vision of my God. God has revealed many things about Jesus’ prayer in
the garden of Gethsemane. His prayer became a model prayer for all of us. “Jesus was
ill physically also.” in the garden of Gethsemane. He had suffered illness which was
very serious and Jesus was not able to walk properly and also he had no strength in
his body to pray also. As a doctor I understood that he was going through the valley of
death, but his own disciples could not understand about his illness. He had fainted but
fought in prayer because he had to fulfill the purpose of his coming according to the
will of God and he understood that he should not die in the garden and he had to
suffer and die on the cross. He fought and fought and He as a human being, depended
on heavenly strength and became victorious over all the evil forces at the end. His
sweat had fallen on the ground as large drops of blood.
God kept this scene in front of me and allowed the same experience for me in my life
too. On 17 of April I was about to go to Amalapuram, Noozividu, Nekkalam and
Vijayawada to work until the 7th of May. I had given dates for all the meetings. But
since 4 days I was having abdominal pain which was on the increase till the 16th
afternoon. That night I got vomiting spells also. As a doctor I knew that there was
intestinal obstruction and decided to get admitted in the hospital. The Oncologists had
suggested the same. I was admitted to Mallya hospital again for investigations.
Ultrasound scanning of my abdomen revealed the wide-spread of cancer and there
was bleeding in a large tumor in my liver. I resigned myself to God’s will completely.
I had severe abdominal pain and discomfort continuously. Even then I did not
undergo operation but the pain was equivalent to the pain created by multiple
operations. Vomiting spells were continuous and I felt very weak and ill. Doctors
were so sympathetic to me and very considerate. When I got the peak of pain, when I
couldn’t take normal breath due to pain, I felt that it’s like hell, but immediately I
started thinking “Why my God has permitted this hell like pain.” I was asking God to
show his grace to bear the pain and I thought I would die maybe within days. My
attendants my Chitthy and Vajra were patiently ministering to me day and night and
so many friends were praying for me. I could see the power of God in me because
God has reminded a sermon I gave once during the Holy week about prayer in the
garden of Gethsemane. The memory made Jesus almost visible in front of me. Jesus
had to die but not in Gethsemane, but on the cross and still there was some time for
Jesus to fulfill all the scriptures and in the same way God has revealed that my death
is not very near and still there is time for me to fulfill the purpose and will of God in
my life. Jesus had companions with him (disciples) but they couldn’t understand the
physical and mental agony of Jesus even though they loved him. He wanted their
support in prayer but he could not get what he wanted from them. The unutterable
agony he had felt in his heart were not understood by them. Now too the spirit to God
knows us and he intercedes for us. Jesus depended on God and he brought the
heavenly power on him through that prayer in the garden. Angels had to serve and
strengthen him. Similarly even though so many people are around me and they care
and love me so much, only the spirit of God could understand the depth of pain in my
heart which was unutterable and ministered and strengthened me. I was physically so
weak and I felt as though my liver inside was bleeding Jesus too felt weak and his
sweat was falling on the ground as drops of blood.
How marvellous it is that God has given me that experience as Jesus had undergone!
Jesus glorified his Father. I am so thankful for his example for me to follow.
My life span has crossed the limit given by the doctors. Nobody would recognize me
now as a cancer patient till I tell them. God has wonderfully given me this healthy
appearance even though I am a cancer patient.
I do not fear to face death because Jesus guards and holds me even in the valley of
death. He holds my hand and leads me out of it. Physically someday or the other, I
may leave this earth. I know I will be in the presence of God who would welcome me
and wipe my tears forever. In life and the hereafter I will be his child forever. I know
as his child I will not be ashamed.
You might be feeling sad about me and your heart might be filled with sorrow and
burdened because of my suffering but I am glad to tell you that I am very happy at
this moment because of my faith in Jesus. In this bed of sorrow I am fulfilling the will
of God in my life. He has made my life so meaningful, so I ask you not to become
very downhearted but please remember me by name in your prayers. I would be ever
grateful for that. Thank you for reading this, my testimony.
I pray that :
1. You would surely get an experience of rebirth in Christ to understand his love
fully.
2. You may all your children to any church which arranges Sunday school to
learn the Word of God in their young age. The words they memorize from the
Bible will help them throughout their lives.
3. You may dedicate your life and talents totally for the Lord’s ministry. If you
honour God, he will honour you in due time. Even if you are holding a secular
job you could glorify God by being a witness at your work place. I am his
witness for that.
4. You may remember that Jesus is with you and in you even when you face
trials and tribulations as a child of God. You are not alone. He will never leave
you nor forsake you.
5. You may not take pleasure in criticizing, commenting and hurting people
when they are suffering. You may learn to comfort others because we have a
God to comfort us when we need it.
6. You may be glorifying God in your difficult times/sufferings. I do hope you
do not get angry with your maker. Remember, sufferings are allowed for the
children of God for fulfilling his purposes in your life.
7. You may get the power of resurrection. Remember to pray earnestly to get his
resurrection power without which you may not be able to face life’s situations.
GOD BLESS YOU